This is a complete list of things happening right now in the world of tech.
Google Tests Self-Driving Car
Looking more like a blown-up child’s toy, Google’s new self-navigating vehicle puts Minority Report technology truly on the horizon. The car has neither brake petal nor steering wheel (hmm, already sounding safe), caps out at 25mph – for now, and uses camera sensors that will never fail ever to detect obstacles.
Google plans to beta test over the summer and then partner with a major auto retailer to mass produce self-directed autos.
This will come in handy because you’ll be able to send your kids off to school worry-free, take granny to play bridge without the fear of her running herself off a bridge and you will never again be arrested for a traffic violation (“Gee officer, it was the car’s fault.”).
Centscere Moves to NYC
The local StartUp Labs project from a couple of SU students that recently won $200K at the CenterStateCEO Annual Luncheon recently announced relocation to the Big Apple to expand its opportunities.
The budding tech company, which turns social media actions into donations, gave the announcement much to the chagrin of its local supporters hoping that the stimulus award would bring new jobs to the region.
Well, if they make it there, [they]’ll make it [dramatic Sinatra pause] – anywhere as the saying goes.
Multiple video blackmail and really embarrassing lip-sync dancing cases are now being tried. The FBI listed this website to check to see if your really bad dancing is being recorded.
Among the many possible symptoms:
– Mouse cursor moves by itself across your screen.
– Your curtains close and the lights all go out in your house.
– You feel breathing in your ear and no one is there.
– A sudden titty-twister from behind followed by a swirly in the nearest bathroom.
New Times Digital Media Manager, Ty Marshal, has a great high-tech solution to the problem.
Mysterious YouTube Videos Haunts Both Laymen and Experts
A strange YouTube channel under the name Webdriver Torso has been spitting out an incredible amount of puzzling short videos for the past year. The uploads, followed by over 30,000 subscribers, now total over 77,000 videos; every one of them 11 seconds long with exactly ten frames, all with different variations of the same red and blue quadrilaterals, accompanied by high-pitched ringing sounds.
This is straight off a sci-fi movie.
Watching the clips makes one feel they are in horror films such as Insidious [spoiler alert] where the demon enters the room via video image, or The Ring, whose plot circles around a mysterious video tape that curses the viewer to die within seven days of watching the film.
Though simple in nature and investigated by experts, the strangely prolific clips remain an eerie mystery.
My guess it’s the same guy who gave you the titty-twister in the last bit.
Click here to watch if you dare. (Being alone in this room just got real.)
Google Launches Panda 4.0
All this Google news today. “Tomorrow we take over the world, Pinky.”
Google recently rolled out a change in its algorithm named Panda 4.0, designed to lower in search results slim-content websites that tell lies and give only skimpy half-assed comedic news commentary. As far as the name goes: Panda, because they are huge Jack Black fans; and 4.0 because, well we couldn’t figure that one out. We’ll get back to ya.
A little known fact but perhaps one of the stupidest things ever done, back in 2005, the biggest social network, then valued at $12 billion, MySpace’s (“What’s MySpace?”) CEO, Chris DeWolfe was asked by Mark Zuckerburg to buy Facebook for $75 million. We all know he declined. Today DeWolf’s company tries to sell those annoying little gaming apps on Facebook.
“Big mistake. Huge!” – Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman
A former Internet Marketing Manager, Joe Cunningham is a dad, a screenwriter, playwright and all-around adventurer. He blogs for Kinani Blue, charms Google at Terakeet and enjoys running through the city. You can follow him on Twitter at @IndianaJoe77 or he can be reached at email@example.com.
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