ARIES (March 21-April 19) “Sin” is a puerile concept in my eyes, so I don’t normally use it to discuss grown-up concerns. But if you give me permission to invoke it in a jokey, ironic way, I’ll recommend that you cultivate more surprising, interesting and original sins. In other words, Aries, it’s high time to get bored with your predictable ways of stirring up a ruckus. Ask God or Life to bring you some really evocative mischief that will show you what you’ve been missing and lead you to your next robust learning experience.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Attention, smart shoppers! Here’s a special spring fling offer! For a limited time only, you can get five cutesy oracles for the price of one! And you don’t have to pay a penny unless they all come true! Check ’em out! Oracle 1: Should you wait patiently until all the conditions are absolutely perfect? No! Success comes from loving the mess. Oracle 2: Don’t try to stop a sideshow you’re opposed to. Stage a bigger, better show that overwhelms it. Oracle 3: Please, master, don’t be a slave to the things you control. Oracle 4: Unto your own self be true? Yes! Unto your own hype be true? No! Oracle 5: The tortoise will beat the hare as long as the tortoise doesn’t envy or try to emulate the hare.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Generation Kill is an HBO miniseries based on the experiences of a reporter embedded with American Marines fighting in Iraq. Early on, before the troops have been exposed to any serious combat, they’re overflowing with trash talk. A commanding officer scolds them: “Gentlemen, from now on we’re going to have to earn our stories.” Although you are in a much less volatile situation right now, Gemini, my advice to you is the same: In the coming weeks, you’ll have to earn your stories. You can’t afford to talk big unless you’re geared up to act big, too. You shouldn’t make promises and entertain dares and issue challenges unless you’re fully prepared to be a hero. Now here’s my prophecy: I think you will be a hero.
CANCER (June 21-July 22) In your mind’s eye, drift back in time to a turning point in your past that didn’t go the way you’d hoped. But don’t dwell on the disappointment. Instead, change the memory. Visualize yourself then and there, but imagine you’re in possession of all the wisdom you have gathered since then. Next, picture an alternative ending to the old story — a finale in which you manage to pull off a much better result. Bask in this transformed state of mind for five minutes. Repeat the whole exercise at least once a day for the next two weeks. It will generate good medicine that will produce a creative breakthrough no later than mid-June
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) You’re being invited to boost your commitment to life and become a more vivid version of yourself. If you refuse the invitation, it will later return as a challenge. If you avoid that challenge, it will eventually circle back around to you as a demand. So I encourage you to respond now, while it’s still an invitation. To gather the information you’ll need, ask yourself these questions: What types of self-development are you “saving for later”? Are you harboring any mediocre goals or desires that dampen your lust for life? Do you tone down or hold back your ambitions for fear they would hurt or offend people you care about?
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) “Dear Dream Doctor: I dreamed that a crowd of people had decided to break through a locked door using a long, thick wooden plank as a battering ram. The only problem was, I was lying on top of the plank, half-asleep. By the time I realized what was up, the agitated crowd was already at work smashing at the door. Luckily for me, it went well. The door got bashed in and I wasn’t hurt. What does my dream mean? Signed, Nervous Virgo.”
Dear Virgo: Here’s my interpretation: It’s time to knock down a barrier, but you’re not convinced you’re ready or can do it all by yourself. Luckily, there are forces in your life that are conspiring to help make sure you do it.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) As long as you keep Syria, South Sudan and North Korea off your itinerary, traveling would be food for your soul during the next 28 days. It would also be balm for your primal worries and medicine for your outworn dogmas and an antidote for your comfortable illusions. Do you have the time and money necessary to make a pilgrimage to a place you regard as holy? How about a jaunt to a rousing sanctuary? Or an excursion to an exotic refuge that will shock you in friendly, healing ways? I hope that you will at least read a book about the territory that you may one day call your home away from home.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) By now I’m sure you have tuned in to the rumblings in your deep self. Should you be concerned? Maybe a little, but I think the more reasonable attitude is curiosity. Even though the shaking is getting stronger and louder, it’s also becoming more melodic. The power that’s being unleashed will almost certainly turn out to be far more curative than destructive. The light it emits may at first look murky but will eventually bloom like a thousand moons. Maintain your sweet poise. Keep the graceful faith.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Life is inviting you to decode riddles about togetherness that could boost your emotional intelligence and earn you the right to enjoy lyrical new expressions of intimacy. Will you accept the invitation? Are you willing to transcend your habitual responses for the sake of your growth-inducing relationships? Are you interested in developing a greater capacity for collaboration and synergy? Would you be open to making a vulnerable fool of yourself if it helped your important alliances to fulfill their dormant potential? Be brave and empathetic, Sagittarius. Be creative and humble and affectionate.
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “In youth we feel richer for every new illusion,” wrote author Anne Sophie Swetchine. “In maturer years, for every one we lose.” While that may be generally true, I think that even 20-something Capricorns are likely to fall into the latter category in the coming weeks. Whatever your age, I foresee you shouting something akin to “Hallelujah!” or “Thank God!” or “Boomshakalaka flashbang!” as you purge disempowering fantasies that have kept you in bondage and naive beliefs that have led you astray.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “There are no green thumbs or black thumbs,” wrote horticulturalist Henry Mitchell in a message you were destined to hear at this exact moment. “There are only gardeners and non-gardeners. Gardeners are the ones who get on with the high defiance of nature herself, creating, in the very face of her chaos and tornado, the bower of roses and the pride of irises. It sounds very well to garden a ‘natural way.’ You may see the natural way in any desert, any swamp, any leech-filled laurel hell. Defiance, on the other hand, is what makes gardeners.” Happy Defiance Time to you, Aquarius! In the coming weeks, I hope you will express the most determined and disciplined fertility ever!
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) I believe it may be the right time to tinker with or repair a foundation; to dig down to the bottom of an old resource and consider transforming it at its roots. Why? After all this time, that foundation or resource needs your fresh attention. It could be lacking a nutrient that has gradually disappeared. Maybe it would flourish better if it got the benefit of the wisdom you have gained since it first became useful for you. Only you have the power to discern the real reasons, Pisces — and they may not be immediately apparent. Be tender and patient and candid as you explore.
Homework: How could you change yourself to get more of the love you want? Testify by going to realastrology.com and clicking on “Email Rob.”