Curses, Foiled Again

Two men lacking masks when they broke into an apartment in Carroll, Iowa, used a Sharpie marker to draw on masks. The Daily Times Herald reported that police, responding to a caller who saw two men with “painted faces” drive off, stopped a car after noticing Matthew McNelly, 23, and Joey Miller, 20, sporting the irremovable disguises.

Curses, Foiled Again

A man approached a clerk at a restaurant in Haverhill, Mass., declared he had a gun and demanded money from the register. When the clerk insisted on seeing the gun, the man fled. North Andover’s Eagle Tribune reported police found suspect Adam Alsarabi, 22, hiding in the woods, gunless.

Police investigating a drive-by shooting at a home in Buchanan, Wis., found auto glass in the street and deduced the shooter had forgotten to lower his car window before firing five shots. Appleton’s Post-Crescent reported that a check of area auto glass repair shops led to Andrew J. Burwitz, 20, who admitted shooting at the house, where his ex-girlfriend lived.

Curses, Foiled Again

An armed robber entered a Pizza Hut restaurant in Statesville, N.C., and ordered worker Therman Martin to empty the safe. Martin told WSOC-TV that when he explained he couldn’t open the safe because “I’m just the oven man,” the robber forced him into the bathroom and tried to shoot him, but the gun misfired. Martin then bit the robber’s hand until he dropped the gun and took off running. He paused, Martin said, and asked, “Please give me the gun back. It’s not my gun, and I’ll leave.” Martin refused, and the robber fled.

Curses, Foiled Again

Belgian authorities said two robbers misguessed how much dynamite it took to blow open a cash machine in Dinant. The blast caused the building behind the ATM to collapse and killed both robbers. Bank officials said they wouldn’t have gotten any money anyway, since the ATMs are designed to implode when forced open and destroy all the cash inside.

Curses, Foiled Again

A man told police he was eating hot dogs in a park in Worcester, Mass., when another man approached, lifted up his shirt to show what appeared to be a handgun, grabbed one of the hot dogs and began eating it. “In doing so,” police Officer Joseph Francese noted in his report, “mustard spilled onto the suspect’s shirt.” According to the Worcester Telegram & Gazette, police identified Antonio J. Judd, 35, as their suspect after spotting him wearing the shirt with the telltale mustard stain. Judd pleaded guilty to larceny.

Curses, Foiled Again

When police went to a home in Regina, Saskatchewan, looking for David William McKay, 28, a man matching McKay’s description answered the door but said his name was “Matthew,” which, when asked, he misspelled. The Regina Leader-Post reported police also noticed he had the name “David McKay” tattooed on his back.

Curses, Foiled Again

Police charged Dennis Lottig, 30, with stealing four security cameras from a bank drive-through in St. Albans, W.Va. The evidence against him, The Daily Mail reported, was videotapes of him stealing the cameras, taken by the cameras.

The Dating Game

A 27-year-old woman told police she was on a first date with Terrance McCoy, 24, at a restaurant in Ferndale, Mich., but when the check came, he said he forgot his wallet in her car and asked for the keys. According to the Associated Press dispatch, McCoy then drove off in her car.

Curses, Foiled Again

Mitchel L. Legg, 26, was at a police station in Richmond, Ind., filling out an application to carry a gun, when officers and staff members noticed a telltale smell. “He reeked of marijuana,” Chief Kris Wolski told The Palladium-Item, “so they patted him down.” Besides marijuana, officers found a .22 semiautomatic handgun “in a little nylon holster under his shirt,” Wolski said.

Curses, Foiled Again

Daniel Niederhelman, 21, was charged with impersonating a police officer after he used a flashing red dashboard light to maneuver through traffic in Shreveport, La. One of the drivers he pulled over was Mayor Cedric Glover, who became suspicious, followed the car and called police.