Curses, Foiled Again
After responding to a call that two men were carrying items from a house before dawn, sheriff’s deputies in Manatee County, Fla., spotted the men driving by the crime scene. They had returned, the sheriff’s report noted, because “they were lost in the neighborhood and trying to find their way out.” Deputies who stopped the car noticed the stolen items and arrested Darien A. Caruso, 19, and James Hardy, 19. (Bradenton Herald)
When Susan Cole showed up for jury duty in Denver, she was wearing curlers in her hair and mismatched shoes, according to a court affidavit. When Judge Anne Mansfield asked if any prospective jurors had a mental illness, court reporter Kelli Wessels said Cole “stated she had difficulties getting ready in the morning” and added she suffered from post-traumatic stress disorder. Judge Mansfield excused her but four months later heard someone brag on local radio about showing up looking disheveled and faking mental illness to evade jury duty. The woman was identified as Cole, who pleaded guilty to perjury and received a two-year suspended sentence and 40 hours of community service. (The Denver Post)
Business Directory
A New York boutique that specializes in breast pumps and accessories: Yummy Mummy. (The Washington Post)
Co-founders of Generation Investment Management, who stand to reap a sizable share of the $500 million that al-Jazeera agreed to pay for Current TV: David Blood and Al Gore. (Bloomberg News)
Mensa Reject of the Week
Police said a 14-year-old boy in Manchester, Conn., removed the brakes from his bicycle and rode off an hour after sunset without wearing a helmet. Moments later, he ran through a stop sign and crashed into a 2005 Chrysler 300. He was taken to the hospital for treatment. (The Hartford Courant)
Bullish on Safety
When Virgin America submitted a pre-takeoff safety video to the Federal Aviation Administration for review, the video showed a dog fumbling with its seat belt, with the voice-over, “For the 0.0001 percent of you who’ve never operated a seat belt before, it works like this.” Expressing concern that passengers would think dogs on flights had to wear seat belts, the FAA made the airline change the dog to a bull because bulls aren’t allowed on planes, whereas dogs sometimes are. (The New York Times)
Raising Cane
Authorities in Akron, Ohio, evacuated City Hall after someone reported seeing what looked like a pipe bomb: a 4-foot-long aluminum stick with duct tape at both ends and the word “Kaboom” written on it. The Summit County Bomb Squad determined it wasn’t a bomb. Further investigation identified it as a homemade cane belonging to James Kaboom, 66, who said he’d forgotten it at a meeting. Noting his family came from Poland, he explained his last name was shortened from Kaboomski. His actual, full legal name is Natural Hunka Kaboom. (NBC News)
After British police received a report of a man carrying a samurai sword through Chorley, in Lancashire, an officer spotted a suspect and ordered him to stop. When he didn’t, the officer discharged his Taser, forcing the man to drop the object and fall to the ground. At this point, according to Chief Superintendent Stuart Williams, it “became apparent that this man was not the person we were looking for.” Instead, it was Colin Farmer, 61, a blind man using a white stick to find his way. “It felt like I was grabbing an electricity pylon,” Farmer, who has suffered two strokes, said after he was treated at the hospital and apologized to by police, who later arrested a man carrying an actual samurai sword on suspicion of being drunk and disorderly. (BBC News)
When Guns Are Outlawed
A man who rammed into a wall at the Greater Sweethome Missionary Baptist Church in Forest Hill, Texas, apparently on purpose, got out of the car, chased the minister and beat him to death with an electric guitar. Police who found Derrick Anthony Birdow assaulting the Rev. Danny Kirk Sr. used a Taser to subdue him. Birdow became unresponsive and died in the back of the patrol car. (Associated Press)
News and Blues is compiled from the nation’s press. To contribute, submit original clippings, citing date and source, to Roland Sweet in care of The New Times.
