Curses, Foiled Again

After two men stole DVDs and computer games from a Target store in Madison, Wis., one of them accidentally pocket-dialed 911 with his cellphone. A dispatcher listened for 54 minutes as the men bragged about the heist, described their vehicle and discussed where to sell the goods. They agreed to try a video store, but by the time they pulled up, police were already waiting and arrested Jason S. Hamielec, 29, and Brian A. Johnson, 28. (Associated Press)

Antonio Santiago, 26, denied stealing a cellphone and charger from a man who fell asleep at the rail-and-bus terminal in Hoboken, N.J., but when police called the stolen phone, it rang in Santiago’s pocket. Officers who retrieved the phone and charger also found three small bags of marijuana. (Hudson County’s The Jersey Journal)

Police investigating a drive-through robbery at a Burger King in York, Pa., identified Tyechia Lorraine Rembert, 33, as their suspect after she called the restaurant to ask if any witnesses had seen her license-plate number. Investigators used cellphone records to trace the call to Rembert. (The York Dispatch)

Biting the Hand That Feeds

Alabama officials ordered all 16,000-plus of the state’s sworn law-enforcement officers to undergo special training aimed at clarifying the new, uber-strict immigration law. R. Alan Benefield, head of the Alabama Peace Officers’ Standards and Training Commission, explained that the four-hour training sessions are necessary because of the law’s complexity and lingering confusion, which caused two international incidents in November. First, a 46-year-old German manager with Mercedes-Benz, which employs hundreds of workers to build sport-utility vehicles at a large plant in Vance, was arrested for violating the law while driving a rental car on a business trip because he wasn’t carrying a driver’s license and a passport. In the second incident, Honda Manufacturing of Alabama, another major employer, said a Japanese worker temporarily assigned to this country was cited under the immigration law at a routine police checkpoint, even though he possessed a valid Japanese passport and an international driver’s license. (Associated Press)

When Guns Are Outlawed 

Andri Lynn Jeffers, 26, admitted trying to rob a gas station in Yavapai County, Ariz., by threatening the clerk with a toy penguin. Authorities said Jeffers told the clerk that the object, which she concealed under her sweater, was a bomb. (The Arizona Republic)

Hey: Bees. See!

Upscale hotels in North America and Western Europe are adding beehives on their rooftops, ledges and balconies to provide guests with locally sourced honey for a variety of uses, from traditional sweetener to spa treatments. Leading the way, 18 Fairmont Hotels have added apiaries. (Los Angeles Times)

Donald Mason, 49, died at his Miami home after falling from an upstairs bedroom while spraying fog inside the walls, where a bee expert estimated as many as 60,000 bees were swarming. “When police officers arrived, they could hear a humming noise, like the walls were alive,” said police Cmdr. Delrish Moss, who blamed Mason’s death on the fall, not the bees, even though his teenage daughter discovered her father’s body covered in bees. (The Miami Herald)

Walk a Crooked Mile

After Jack Johnson, 62, pleaded guilty to soliciting and accepting more than $1 million in bribes during his term as county executive of Prince George’s County, Md., his lawyers asked for compassion at his sentencing, pointing out that their client, who entered the courtroom using a cane, has advanced Parkinson’s disease and insisting that a lengthy prison term would amount to “a death sentence for him.” Prosecutors disputed the claim, citing photos from the U.S. Attorney’s office that show Johnson playing golf and carrying a full bag of clubs. U.S. District Judge Peter Messitte sentenced Johnson to 87 months in federal prison, labeling his crimes “a deliberate march down a long path of kleptocracy.” (The Washington Post)

The Gloves Are Off

Some Michigan residents have accused Wisconsin of stealing their state’s long-standing mitten image after the Travel Wisconsin website posted a knit mitten shaped like Wisconsin. Michiganders have long held up a hand to show where they live, representing the state’s outline and sometimes adding the other hand showing the state’s Upper Peninsula to the one-handed state outline. “Wisconsin already took the Rose Bowl from us this year,” Dave Lorenz of Travel Michigan said. “They’re not going to take the Mitten State status from us.” Lisa Marshall of the Wisconsin Department of Tourism insisted the winter tourism campaign isn’t an attempt to usurp Michigan’s claim to be the mitten state. She explained that its fall promotion used a leaf shaped like Wisconsin and that it’ll have a new image for spring. (Associated Press)

Icing Terrorism

Thanks to a grant from the Michigan Homeland Security Program, 13 counties received Arctic Blast Sno-Cone machines costing a total of $11,700. Explaining that the machines can be used to make ice to prevent heat-related illnesses during emergencies, treat injuries and provide snow cones as an outreach at promotional events, Sandeep Dey, executive director of the regional agency responsible for overseeing homeland security in the counties, said requests for the machines would not have been granted by themselves but were approved because they were included with other homeland security equipment. Dey pointed out one county had requested a popcorn machine, but that request was denied. (Greenville’s The Daily News)

Don’t Steal the Charmin’

Three men walked into Burgers, Dogs and Wings in Albuquerque, N.M., immediately headed for the bathroom and walked out with about a dozen rolls of toilet paper. Noting the men appeared “messed up,” employee Josh Flannery-Stewart said, “They got in their car, and all of a sudden APD (Albuquerque Police Department) was surrounding them.” Police already had the men under surveillance as suspected drug dealers. (Albuquerque’s KOAT-TV)

Upset after checking into a motel in Charlotte, N.C., and finding his room had no toilet paper, an unidentified man walked upstairs to a vacant room that was being renovated and stuffed enough paper into the toilet to clog it, causing it to overflow and damage the carpet, as well as the ceiling of the room below. He also broke a blow dryer and several lights before returning to his own room and damaging more property. (Charlotte’s WBTV-TV)

Media Bias

Upset that the news media were devoting too much coverage to crime, Mayor Mike Winder of West Valley City, Utah, began writing upbeat articles using an alias. His stories appeared in several outlets, among them Salt Lake City’s Deseret News, which had begun accepting articles from contributors after cutting its newsroom staff. Submitting articles as Richard Burwash, Winder said all he had to do to get stories published was set up a Gmail account and a Facebook page. He communicated with editors by email and phone. As an unpaid writer for several months, Burwash even quoted himself as mayor, noting after revealing his true identity, “I was an easy source.” (Associated Press)

Declaring Independence from Foreign Oil

Fritz Grobe and Stephen Voltz of Buckfield, Maine, set a distance record for a car that runs on candy and soda. During its test run, the Mark II single-seat rocket car, which uses a simple piston-and-cylinder mechanism to get it moving, traveled 239 feet, fueled by 54 bottles of Coke Zero and 324 Mentos. The previous record was 220 feet. (Associated Press)

The Great Train Robbery

Police in Brazil’s Sao Paulo state reported that thieves stole 55 tons of corn from a moving train by greasing the tracks to make the wheels of the locomotive hauling the 54 cars skid and slow down. Then they pulled alongside in a tow truck and used a hook to remove the corn-filled containers. (Associated Press)

What Next: Pledge Drives?

China’s government has banned commercial interruptions in dramatic programs lasting at least 45 minutes. An official at the State Administration of Radio, Film and Television declared that eliminating ads from programs would make the shows conform to “public interests and aspirations” and “help TV dramas develop in a scientific and healthy manner.” But the move also follows the Communist Party’s announced intention to raise TV’s entertainment and ideological value to hold the attention of people who’re increasingly turning to the Internet for alternate viewpoints. The new rule came after most advertising contracts for the new year had already been signed. TV advertising revenue in 2010 amounted to $78 billion, much of which supported the nation’s 3,240 TV stations. “The government could really take our lives if it bans all commercial breaks during the most-watched TV series,” one station executive said. (BBC News)

Litigation Nation

The Iranian-born owner of Eastern Shore Toyota outside Mobile, Ala., sued Bob Tyler Toyota in nearby Pensacola, Fla., after Bob Tyler’s sales staff branded their Alabama competitor “Taliban Toyota” and told customers that anyone who bought cars there was funding terrorism. Bob Tyler’s attorney argued that Shawn Esfahani failed to prove the slurs caused his sales to slump and suggested the jury clear Esfahani’s name by ruling in his favor but awarding only one dollar in damages. Unswayed, the jury awarded Esfahani $7.5 million. (Mobile Press-Register)

Three softball players who were disqualified from playing for their team in the 2008 Gay Softball World Series filed a federal lawsuit against the North American Gay Amateur Athletic Alliance, claiming discrimination because they are bisexual, not gay. The organization banned Stephen Apilado, Laron Charles and John Russ after other teams protested that their San Francisco team had exceeded the league limit of two heterosexual players per team. The NAGAAA settled before the case went to trial in Seattle by paying the players an undisclosed sum and awarding their team the second-place trophy it was denied. (Associated Press)

Jesse Dimmick filed a breach-of-contract lawsuit against Jared and Lindsay Rowley, seeking $235,000 in damages. Dimmick, who was convicted of kidnapping the Topeka, Kan., newlyweds in 2009 while fleeing from police, contends that they reached a legally binding, verbal contract that they would hide him for an unspecified amount of money. Instead, they fled the house when he fell asleep, and the police rushed in. His suit claims that they reneged on their contract, “resulting in my being shot in the back by authorities.” Complaining the gunshot “almost killed me,” Dimmick stated that his hospital bills alone “are in excess of $160,000, which I have no way to pay.” (The Topeka Capital-Journal)