NEWS & BLUES

 Curses, Foiled Again

Stephen Frankie Daniel, 21, was caught robbing a gas station convenience store in Snellville, Ga., by police Lt. B.W. Brown, who happened to be waiting in line behind him. “The manager was laughing at the time he was putting the money in the bag because he was looking at me over the guy who was robbing him,” Brown said, noting that Daniel apparently didn’t notice Brown’s uniform or the plainly marked Snellville Police Department pickup truck parked outside the store. (Atlanta Journal Constitution)

Michael Wayne Aurillo, 27, stole a charity collection jar containing $35.78 from the counter of a convenience store in Williston, Fla., only to be arrested before he could make off with the loot because off-duty Marion County sheriff’s Sgt. William Dietrich was standing behind him. (The Gainesville Sun)

Road Hazards

Tall corn is the latest risk of driving on rural roads, particularly in the Midwest, because it blocks views from vehicles at unmarked intersections. Iowa and Nebraska officials attributed as many as 52 deaths since 2001 to obstructed vision at intersections. The danger increased this year because corn’s higher prices prompted farmers to plant corn right up to the shoulders of roads adjacent to their fields. “Those corners used to all be open when prices were terrible, but they’re worse now with corn prices being good,” said Chad Siebert, whose brother was killed in September when a pickup truck slammed into his four-wheeler outside Henderson, Neb. York County Sheriff Dale Radcliff blamed tall corn for blocking the victim’s view, pointing out, “You wouldn’t be able to see him coming.” (Associated Press)

Chewing Gum Blues

Alberta’s Elsie C. Pawlow is seeking $100,000 (Canadian) in damages because she “suffered depression for approximately 10 minutes” when her chewing gum stuck to her dentures. In her suit against the maker of Stride gum, the Edmonton resident stated the gum “falls apart into little pieces and sticks to the dentures.” Her claim describes having to “dig out” the pieces of gum from her dentures, a procedure she termed “disgusting.” (Canada’s QMI Agency)

Further Hazards of Smoking

Sandra Gawlik, 44, was taken to the hospital with shoulder and head injuries she received when she walked into the side of a moving train in Needham, Mass., while trying to light her cigarette. (Boston Globe)

Civic Duty

The Sodaville, Ore., City Council voted unanimously to oust two-term Mayor Brady Harrington, 35, for missing three of its monthly meetings in a row and three budget committee meetings. “In all fairness to Brady, he was out fighting fires during this time,” said council President Nick Heineck, who replaced Harrington as mayor. “He’s also been in school.” 

Although Sodaville’s population is only 297, Heineck explained council members hadn’t seen or been able to get in touch with Harrington. When Heineck finally did reach him by phone, Harrington informed him he couldn’t make the next few meetings either. He declined to resign, however, prompting the council’s vote to vacate the office. (The Albany Democrat-Herald)

Adding Insult to Insult

After law enforcement agents in Las Cruces, N.M., ordered a forcible body cavity search of a woman they suspected of concealing up to an ounce of heroin but who turned out not to possess any illegal substances, the hospital that performed the search billed the woman $1,122 for the procedure. (Las Cruces Sun-News)

Ladder-Lifting Days Are Done

Since qualifying for disability, North Shore, Wis., firefighter Aaron Marjala has competed in at least seven marathons and one triathlon. “I can’t raise a ladder. There’s stuff I can’t do,” Marjala acknowledged. “I have minor limitations, but it doesn’t stop me from getting out and enjoying stuff like this.” The injury that led to the state’s declaring him “permanently disabled” occurred when Marjala bumped his elbow on the kitchen countertop at the firehouse, damaging his ulnar nerve and causing numbness in his pinky finger. Eight months later, he banged the same elbow on a ladder, re-injuring his ulnar nerve and requiring surgery. When he hadn’t been medically cleared to return to his job after a year of light duty, he was encouraged to resign or file for duty disability. Just 28, Marjala chose the latter and receives $50,000 a year, tax-free, and free health insurance for life. (Milwaukee’s WITI-TV)

Tales of Waste Management

Exploding toilets seriously injured two government employees at General Services Administration headquarters in Washington, D.C. GSA official Emily Barocas explained that a water storage tank’s control system failed, allowing air to seep into pipes, where it compressed and, when the toilets were flushed, triggered the explosions, which blew the fixtures into tiny shards of porcelain. (The Washington Post)

After Gordon Flavia, 56, crashed his Jeep into a carport while speeding backward at his condominium building in Longview, Wash., he fled on foot. Police responding to the hit-and-run discovered Flavia hiding in a nearby portable toilet, covered with liquid human waste. “We didn’t know exactly what it was, but it smelled bad,” Sgt. Doug Kazensky said, adding that Flavia explained he’d splashed himself with the contents of a bucket outside the port-a-potty “because he thought the {police} dogs were coming, and he was trying to throw them off the scent.” (Longview’s The Daily News)

See-through toilets could solve San Francisco’s public-urination problem, according to Brent Bucknum, founder of Oakland’s Hyphae Design Laboratory. He proposed replacing some street parking spaces with public restrooms that don’t flush or connect to the sewer system but instead collect and compost human waste. Bucknum, who is developing a prototype for testing, said the toilets might include ultraviolet lights to destroy germs and act as “lanterns” to signal their location. To thwart vandalism, drug use and prostitution, the washing facilities would be outside the structure, and its walls would be translucent, casting abstract silhouettes of occupants so police might observe any illegal activity. Bucknum said the toilets would cost $40,000 to $50,000 each. (San Francisco’s The Bay Citizen)

Second-Amendment Follies

Witnesses agreed Alvin Merriwell Lewis Jr., 67, made no threats while demonstrating how he would defend himself with a pocketknife, but Thomas Larry Bolds, 67, picked up a pistol anyway and shot Lewis eight times. Pensacola, Fla., authorities charged Bolds with murder. (Alabama’s Mobile Press-Register)

When a wounded grizzly bear attacked Steve Stevenson, 39, while he and Ty Bell, 20, were hunting in a Montana forest, Bell tried to save him by shooting the bear. He killed the bear, according to Lincoln County Sheriff Roby Bowe, but also killed Stevenson with a shot to the chest. (Associated Press)

A United Nations firearms instructor from France accidentally shot himself in the thigh while undergoing recertification training at a firing range in Springfield, Mass., according to police Sgt. John Delaney, who declined to identify the shooter. (WWLP-TV)

Epic Wiener

Brandon Kelly, 31, admitted throwing a hot dog at golfer Tiger Woods during a tournament in Santa Clara County, Calif., and explained he was inspired by the movie Drive, about a stunt driver who moonlights as a getaway driver. “As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, ‘I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger,’” Kelly said. The National Hot Dog and Sausage Council promptly condemned Kelly for “a violation of hot dog etiquette.” “Hot dogs are meant to be enjoyed,” council President Janet Riley pointed out, “not weaponized.” (Santa Rosa Press Democrat, National Hot Dog and Sausage Council)