NEWS & BLUES

Curses, Foiled Again

A surveillance video showed the man who stole two 24-packs of beer from a convenience store in Lake Wales, Fla., making his getaway. Before he made it to his car, however, his sagging jeans dropped, causing him to fall to the ground and sending cans of beer rolling in every direction. He got up and jumped into the vehicle and drove off emptyhanded. (Lakeland’s The Ledger) A man handed a note to a bank teller in Okeechobee, Fla., demanding a sack full of cash. When the teller said she didn’t have a bag, the would-be robber, who was also bagless, left empty-handed. The Okeechobee County sheriff’s office said the suspect fled the scene on a bicycle and was apprehended within seven minutes, thanks to bank personnel’s good description of Joseph Price, 61. (United Press International)

Don’t Thump the Melons

As many as 115 acres of watermelons exploded in China’s Jiangsu Province after farmers there overdosed  the melons with the growth stimulator forchlorfenuron during wet weather, turning them into what Chinese news media described as “land mines.” The 20 farmers affected were using the chemical for the first time, hoping to capitalize on a surge in watermelon prices. (Associated Press)

Identity Crisis

Search warrants executed by members of the FBI’s Joint Terrorism Task Force disclosed that Joseph Jeffrey Brice, 21, who was critically injured  when a  bomb he was making exploded at his home in Clarkston, Wash., had opened email and PayPal accounts using the name of Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh. (The Seattle Times) State police stopped a man at Pennsylvania’s Lehigh County International Airport who identified himself with a Texas driver’s license. Troopers wrote down the information and then asked the man to repeat his date of birth. When he got it wrong, he ran off and tossed a wallet into some shrubs. Police caught the man and recovered the wallet, which contained 12 counterfeit driver’s licenses. Unable to determine the man’s real name, they booked him as John Doe. (Allentown’s The Morning Call)

Big Future for Drones

The increasing use of remotely piloted, armed drones will lead future decision-makers to “resort to war as a policy option far sooner than previously,” according to a study by the British Defense Ministry. Noting drones are becoming increasingly automated, the study said that with minor technical advances, a drone could soon be able to “fire a weapon based solely on its own sensors, or shared information, and without recourse to higher, human authority.” (The Washington Post)

First Things First

When police Officer Courtney Vassell tried to stop Roberta Spen, 64, for having faulty brake lights, the Coral Springs, Fla., resident instead headed for a McDonald’s drive-through lane and ordered lunch. Vassell pulled up behind her and told her to pull into the parking lot, but Spen got her food and drove off. When Vassell finally stopped her, he said she “rolled her window down one inch and said she was not speeding and she would not roll her window down.” Spen refused to hand over her driver’s license and drove away. Other officers joined Vassell in pursuit of Spen, who finally stopped for a red light. After failing to box her in there, officers finally succeeded in trapping her. She refused to leave the car, however, so they broke the driver’s side window and removed her. Police found no indication that Spen, who had no criminal record, was under the influence of drugs or alcohol, and she wouldn’t explain her refusal to stop. (South Florida Sun Sentinel)

Perfect Pitch

Laurel Gordon, 18, competing to become Washington state’s dairy ambassador, has been Grays Harbor County’s dairy ambassador for the past two years. Gordon is lactose intolerant. (Aberdeen’s The Daily World)

Slightest Provocation

Police arrested Zachary Wood, 21, in Gordon County, Tenn., for stabbing a friend while the two argued about whether Ford or Chevrolet vehicles were better. (Chattanooga Times Free Press) Authorities in Weld County, Colo., arrested Christina Cantu, 34, after she tried to stab her live-in boyfriend because he was paying more attention to a sick calf than to her. The sheriff’s affidavit says she accused the boyfriend “of not being in love with her anymore.” (Greeley Tribune)

News and Blues is compiled from the nation’s press. To contribute, submit original clippings, citing date and source, to Roland Sweet in care of The New Times.