news & blues

Curses, Foiled Again

Harold Luken, 45, walked into a New York City bank and reportedly yelled, “I am going to rob the bank. I have a gun, but I’m going to wait on line.” When his turn came, he repeated his intentions to the teller, adding, “First, I’m going to pass you a note.” Teller Sean Knudsen declined to hand over any money, however, so Luken asked for the balance in his own account. Knudsen again refused. “OK, I will go to Citibank,” Luken said. “I will rob them instead.” Police intercepted him en route. (New York Post) Two men who fled from a home invasion in Charlotte, N.C., left behind a black T-shirt that showed a photo of a man and the legend “Making money is my thang.” The homeowner recognized the photo as one of the men who had just robbed him. He turned out to be Tyrone Huntley, 25, whom police arrested. (The Charlotte Observer)

When the Cheering Stopped

Claiming he holds the copyright for the song that includes the ubiquitous sports cheer “Da-da-da-da-da-da CHARGE,” Bobby Kent, 62, is suing the company that once licensed the song to sporting venues. The Pompano Beach, Fla., resident also intends to sue every pro sports team in the United States, except the Los Angeles Lakers basketball team, which was the only one to respond to his demand for money in exchange for using the song. The Lakers paid him $3,000. “I’m looking to get what I’m owed,” Kent said, explaining the musical charge is part of a 26measure tune he composed in the late 1970s as music director for the San Diego Chargers. He dubbed it “Stadium Doodads.”

The University of Southern California marching band disputed Kent’s claim, declaring the true composer to be Tommy Walker, who wrote a song called “Trojan Warriors Charge” in the 1950s when he was simultaneously USC’s drum major and field goal kicker.

Kent’s attorney acknowledged the USC song “does contain five notes that are close to the last five notes of the crescendo of Mr. Kent’s song,” but insisted the notes are played at different tempos. (Miami Herald)

Drive-Ins Welcome

Andrew Michael McKinnon was driving along Main Street in North Easton Village, Mass., when he clipped the rear bumper of a parked vehicle, swerved and crashed into a building occupied by the Champion Driving School. (Brockton’s The Enterprise)

Occupational Hazard

Human cannonball Matt Cranch, 23, was shot 50 feet into the air as part of Scott May’s Daredevil Stunt Show, which was performing at England’s Kent County Showground, but the cannon’s recoil caused the safety net to collapse. Cranch hit the ground headfirst, according to witnesses, and died at the hospital. (Britain’s Daily Mail)

End Of an Era

The Florida House voted to repeal the state’s “potty parity” law, which was enacted in 1992 after women complained of long lines at restrooms at football games. The law mandated a male-to-female toilet ratio in public buildings. A staff analysis leading to the provision’s repeal found that including the International Plumbing Code into Florida’s Building Code provides a better standard based on overall building occupancy. (Associated Press)

Chick Magnet

After being charged with possessing a dangerous animal at his home in Ford Heights, Ill., Dewayne Yarbrough, 43, told Cook County sheriff’s investigators he bought the fourfoot alligator to impress women. He explained he kept the alligator in a small tank and fed it only 10 live mice a month so it wouldn’t grow too large. (Associated Press)

When Guns Are Outlawed

Authorities arrested Carey Newman, 34, in West Frankfort, Ill., after she reportedly threw a lawn mower at another woman. (Carbondale’s The Southern)

Downwardly Mobile

Albuquerque authorities arrested Charles Mader for failing to notify them that he’d moved out of the Dumpster he’d given as his address. Mader, a convicted sex offender, is required to provide the Bernalillo County Sheriff’s Department with a current physical address. Deputies who noticed Mader was no longer residing at the Dumpster tracked him to a homeless shelter. He told them he moved to an abandoned building. (Albuquerque’s KOB-TV)

Butter Fingers

As soccer fans cheered, Real Madrid defender Sergio Ramos carried Spain’s treasured King’s Cup, above his head on an open-top bus to celebrate his team’s victory over Barcelona. Suddenly, he dropped the 33pound silver trophy, which fell under the team bus and was crushed. Emergency services workers picked up at least 10 pieces of the trophy. (Agence France-Presse) After cruise ship passenger Janet Richardson, 73, took ill off the coast of Norway, the captain ordered her to shore for treatment. While she was being transferred to a Norwegian Sea Rescue lifeboat, the six men holding

the stretcher dropped it and Richardson into the 26-degree water. Paramedics took eight minutes to rescue her. She was taken to a British hospital but died. (MSNBC and Associated Press)

Second-Amendment Follies

Sharon Edwards Newling, 58, told authorities in Rowan County, N.C., that she fired a .22 caliber rifle at her stepson to make him stop working on his truck. (Salisbury Post)

A Well-Regulated Militia

Los Angeles authorities accused Yupeng Deng, 51, of creating a fake U.S. Army unit and charging more than 100 fellow Chinese nationals between $300 and $450 each to join. Prosecutors said Deng told the recruits that belonging to the squad was a path to U.S. citizenship. He gave them fake documents and military uniforms, had them parade in a Los Angeles suburb and took them to the decommissioned aircraft carrier USS Midway, which is now a museum. (Reuters)

There’s an App for That

A new iPhone application calculates the calories in food by matching a photo of the meal with its database of some 500,000 food items. “The database can quickly help identify the food, how many calories there are, proteins, fat, carbs, vitamins, whatever you may want to know,” said Andy Smith, CEO of DailyBurn, a fitness social network that developed the MealSnap app. “Users can then choose to share what they’ve eaten on Twitter or FourSquare, leading to social accountability.” (Reuters) When animal control officers found a mother duck and ducklings near an empty fountain in Washington, D.C., and determined that two other ducklings had fallen into the fountain’s drain, an officer downloaded to his phone an app that mimics the call of a mother duck. The sound lured one of the missing ducklings to the surface. (The Washington Post)

Cash Diet

Police in India’s Uttar Pradesh state said termites ate 10 million rupees ($222,000) being stored at a bank in Barabanki. The manager discovered the damage in April when he opened the reinforced room in an old bank building where the money had been kept since January. “It’s a matter of investigation how termites attacked bundles of currency notes stacked in a steel chest,” police officer Navneet Rana said. (Associated Press)

Slightest Provocation

Daniel Pacheco, 68, stabbed his 68-yearold girlfriend, police in Daytona Beach, Fla., said, because she bought milk after he already bought some. The victim was hospitalized in good condition. (Orlando Sentinel)

Revolting Grammar

A ceremonial banner hung in China’s Forbidden City intended to congratulate local police for catching a suspect in the theft of rare handicrafts. Instead, it appears to be an invitation to revolution. Actually it’s just a typo, a common occurrence in Mandarin Chinese, which is rife with homonyms. The slogan read, “To shake the great strength and prosperity of the motherland, and to safeguard the stability of the capital,” but the word for shake, “han,” is pronounced the same as the intended word: guard. When pictures of the subversive-reading banner were posted on the Internet, many Chinese reacted not by demanding freedom but by mocking the literacy level of the person who designed the banner. (The New York Times)

News and Blues is compiled from the nation’s press. To contribute, submit original clippings, citing date and source, to Roland Sweet in care of The New Times.