News & Blues 6/23

A woman who police said tried to rob two credit unions in Memphis,
Tenn., fled empty-handed both times because tellers couldn’t figure out
what she wanted. The first attempt ended with the frustrated robber
throwing her holdup note at the teller and running away after the
teller couldn’t understand her mumbling. A few hours later, a teller at
the second credit union kept asking the woman fumbling in her purse
what she wanted. Finally, she produced a note. When she also pulled a
gun, the teller left. The woman ran outside, tripped and fell, dropped
her gun, then got into a car and drove off. (The Commercial Appeal)

Alerted by neighbors that someone was breaking into their car, a
couple in Lake City, Fla., used their entry remote control to lock the
thief inside. “So every time he tried to get out of the car, the owners
just kept hitting the lock button on their key fob, and eventually he
gave up trying to get out,” Columbia County sheriff’s Sgt. Ed Seifert
said after Travis James Neeley, 19, was arrested. (The Gainesville Sun)

Defenders of the Faith

Authorities said Timothy Neal, 44, and his twin 18-year-old sons
beat up another man during a drunken brawl at a bonfire in Madison
County, Mo., according to sheriff’s Capt. Brad Wells, who explained,
“The victim had been talking about religion and demons when the other
three became upset and started whipping up on him.” Wells added he
didn’t know what specific religious issue started the argument but that
the demon talk prompted the beating. (St. Louis Post-Dispatch)

Slightest Provocation

A husband and wife and their three children were driving near
Clarksville, Tenn., when the two adults began arguing. At one point,
Montgomery County sheriff’s Deputy Blake Neblett reported, the
23-year-old man told his wife to “shut up.” When she refused, the man
jumped from the moving vehicle. He was airlifted to the hospital in
critical but stable condition. (Clarksville’s The Leaf-Chronicle)

Wish Come True

A Florida judge sentenced Sylvester Jiles, 25, to 15 years in prison
for violating his probation by trying to climb a 12-foot fence to break
into the Brevard County jail. Jiles, who accepted a plea agreement on
manslaughter charges before his release, had begged jail officials to
take him back into custody because he feared retaliation from the
victim’s family. (Associated Press)

Emergency Parking

After the driver of a fire truck responding to an accident in
Detroit parked the vehicle on a set of train tracks, a Chicago-bound
passenger train crushed the vehicle, according to witnesses, like an
aluminum can. The driver of the fire truck was injured when he ran back
and tried to get the rig off the tracks after someone yelled, “Train
coming!” No one on the train was seriously injured. “It was a $600,000
truck,” executive fire commissioner James Mack said, adding the
incident was “not acceptable” and that “we’ll do some training.” (The Detroit News)

Driven to Distraction

A two-vehicle crash in the Florida Keys was caused by a man driving
from the passenger seat while the woman driver was shaving her bikini
area, according to state police. “She said she was meeting her
boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit,” Trooper
Gary Dunick said after charging Megan Mariah Barnes, 37. After her 1995
Ford Thunderbird slammed into the back of a 2006 pickup truck on Cudjoe
Key, Barnes drove another half-mile, then switched seats with her
ex-husband, Charles Judy, who claimed he was driving. Burns on Judy’s
chest from the passenger-side airbag disproved their story. (Key West Citizen)

Guilty by Proximity

Authorities in Glendale, Ariz., charged Gabriel Aguilera, 19, with
murder after he drove a stolen car through the gates at Luke Air Force
Base, apparently by mistake while fleeing from law enforcement. A
security guard opened fire on the vehicle as it drove through the base,
wounding Aguilera and killing his 16-year-old male passenger. “They
were probably just trying to get away,” said police Officer Karen
Gerardo, who explained Aguilera was charged with murder because his
passenger died during commission of a felony. (The Arizona Republic) 

The House Always Wins

Louise Chavez was playing penny slots at the Fortune Valley Casino
in Central City, Colo., when the machine flashed a message that she’d
won a $42.9 million jackpot. The casino informed her the message was an
error and offered her a free breakfast. (Associated Press)

State of the Art

Native Union introduced adapters for cell phones that resemble
old-fashioned landline handsets: They have handles, you talk into one
end, and you can slam them down when you want to hang up in anger. The
company’s Moshi Moshi handsets, priced from $60 to $200, attach to
phones with a standard 3.5-mm plug or to computers using a USB adapter.
Two models connect wirelessly by Bluetooth. (Britain’s The Sunday Times)

California psychologist Karin Hart has invented a butt bra, a strap
device that lifts a woman’s derriere like a bra lifts her breasts. Hart
said she got the idea for her Biniki butt lifter after using adhesive
tape to support her sagging buttocks under clothing and receiving
inquiries from women at her gym. Hart said she has also created a
version for men, called the Maniki, and a thong version of her Biniki,
called the Throng. (New York’s Daily News)

Disorder in the Court

When defense attorney Ronald Dolak advised his client, Quentin C.
Moore, 28, to stop “mouthing off” during proceedings in Kane County,
Ill., Moore attacked Dolak and “had to be taken down by at least four
officers,” Judge T. Jordan Gallagher said. Dolak added that Moore
attacked him again 45 minutes later when the attorney tried to talk to
him in a holding cell. (Suburban Chicago’s Daily Herald)

News and Blues is compiled from the nation’s press. To
contribute, submit original clippings, citing date and source, to
Roland Sweet in care of The New Times.