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How Expanded Playoffs Thin the Herd
Urologists reported a spike in men scheduling vasectomies during
college basketball’s March Madness so they can avoid work and chores to
watch games while recovering. The American Medical News reported
that some clinics have started giving vasectomy patients recovery kits
that include pizza coupons and sports magazines. “We suggest the guys
ice it and stay off their feet for 24 hours. Some will take it a little
farther than that,” said Dr. Bill Utz, whose clinic in Edina, Minn.,
gives patients a brochure showing a man recovering in a recliner while
his wife waits on him.
Justifiable Homicide
At least a half-dozen people have been killed and others injured in
the Philippines while singing Frank Sinatra’s version of “My Way” at
karaoke bars. As a result, many of the clubs have removed the popular
song from their playbooks, and karaoke singers have stopped singing it.
Most of the “My Way” attacks have reportedly occurred because the singer
sang out of tune, causing other patrons to laugh or jeer, sparking an
argument. Other incidents, according to Butch Albarracin, owner of a
Manila-based singing school that has launched the careers of many famous
singers, were provoked by the song’s “arrogant” lyrics.
Senior Moments
Chinese officials in Shanghai warned of a “significant increase” in
drug use among retired and middle-aged residents. Recreational users are
taking ketamine, cocaine and methamphetamine to help them stay awake
during marathon mahjong sessions. “The drug-taking mostly occurs among
groups in card rooms, a place popular among the elderly,” Shanghai
anti-drug commission official Zheng Yuqing told China Daily.
Noting that drug addiction has increased among people over 35 from 23
percent to 40 percent in the past decade, the paper reported that rising
drug abuse among mahjong players has alarmed sports officials, who have
tried to clean up the game’s image, going so far as to seek advice from
enthusiasts in the United States.
Swiss prostitutes are being trained to use defibrillators to revive
clients with heart problems. Brothel owners in the Lugano area said
electric shock treatment to restart customers’ hearts is necessary
because so many elderly customers are using their services. “Having
customers die on us isn’t exactly good publicity,” the owner of one sex
club told the Italian daily Corriere della Sera.
Way to Go
Authorities in Oconee County, S.C., concluded that sheriff’s Deputy
William Frederick Schuck III, 26, died while on patrol after his car got
stuck on a dirt road north of Walhalla. When he got out of the car to
assess the situation, the car apparently moved forward and pinned him to
the tree.
Electricity
Running Wild
The Australian government warned that roofs fitted with the foil
insulation it recommended for its energy-saving program are
electrocuting people. Officials, who ordered a nationwide safety check
of tens of thousands of roofs fitted with foil insulation it offered
rebates for, blamed the deaths of four electricians on the metallic foil
coming into contact with electrical cables and electrifying entire
attics. A preliminary audit of 400 homes found that up to a dozen might
pose a danger.
Reasonable Explanation
Sheriff’s investigators in Travis County, Texas, who caught Anthony
Marco Gigliotto, 17, with 150 photos of women, mostly clothed, including
“a few upskirt photos,” said Gigliotto admitted taking the photos of 39
different women without their consent but explained he acted only
because his high school wasn’t teaching students enough about sex. The
Lake Travis Independent School District issued a prompt denial, calling
the complaint about the lack of sex education “completely unfounded.”
Arrest Resister
of the Week
When two city police officers found Jack A. Seabright Jr., 23, passed
out in his vehicle in Washington, Pa., they tried various ways to rouse
him. When they did revive Seabright, he took a swing at one officer,
who blocked the punch and ordered Seabright out of the vehicle. He
refused and kicked and punched at the two officers until one Tasered
him. As soon as they pulled him from the vehicle, Seabright ran off up a
snow bank, only to be stopped when he slammed head first into a steel
pole, fell over and was taken into custody.
Second-Amendment
Follies
Michael Phillips, 32, was teaching an NRA class in Orlando, Fla., to
certify citizens to carry a concealed weapon when his gun accidentally
went off, shooting student Robert Frauman Jr., 50, in the foot. NRA
rules forbid bringing ammunition into safety classes. The class was
taking place at Summit Church, but communications director, Kristy-Lee
Lawley, said the class, the first of its kind at the church, wasn’t
church-sponsored and added, “We won’t be having anything like that in
our church in the future.”
Lazaro Flores, 50, was practicing quick draws with an antique
.32-caliber revolver at his girlfriend’s house in Alva, Fla., when he
forgot to take his finger off the trigger while holstering the weapon
and accidentally shot himself in the leg.
Mensa Reject
of the Week
John Yarrington, 23, agreed to act as a drug informant for police in
Falmouth, Mass. After making a controlled drug purchase, Yarrington
received $100 from the police and 10 minutes later was using the money
to buy drugs—from the same dealer he helped set up, who was still under
police surveillance. Officers arrested Yarrington and the dealer. “It’s a
case of the dumb get dumber,” Detective Christopher Bartolomei said.
Slightest Provocation
A shootout between Errol Parker Sr., 61, and Pittsburgh police began
with an argument over a parking place. Police said they received a 911
call from a man complaining that Parker punched him and brandished a gun
at him, then told the man to move his car from the space the man had
just shoveled out so Parker could park his car there. When police
arrived, they ordered Parker out of his house, but he fired two shots at
them before surrendering.
Milwaukee police charged apartment manager Jimmie Lamar Richardson,
52, with beating one of his tenants to death because the tenant locked
himself out of his apartment. A witness told police that Richardson went
into a rage and threw tenant Richard Bohannon against a wall and down
one flight of stairs, then kicked him down a second flight of stairs.
Homeland Insecurity
Secret Service computers work at only 60 percent capacity, according
to a classified review that blamed the slow tempo on outdated systems
and reliance on a computer mainframe dating to the 1980s. Although the
Department of Homeland Security (DHS), which oversees the Secret
Service, conceded the existing hardware “is prone to failures” and the
service’s “data environment is fragile and cannot sustain the tempo of
current and future operational missions,” the DHS ignored an unofficial
cost estimate to update the system of $187 million, allocating only $33
million and requesting only another $69 million.
Department of Homeland Security officers lost 289 firearms—handguns,
M-4 rifles and shotguns—from 2006 to 2008, according to the department’s
inspector general. The report blamed officers entrusted with the
weapons for failing to properly secure them. One was left unsecured in
an idling vehicle at a convenience store where the gun and the vehicle
were stolen while the officer was inside. Other officers left their
firearms at fast-food restaurants, parking lots and a bowling alley.
Local law enforcement organizations recovered 15 DHS firearms from
felons, gang members, criminals, drug users and teenagers.
Not-So-Merry Prankster
A woman told police in Fredericksburg, Va., that she, her husband and
a friend were at McDonald’s drive-through when the friend asked for ice
tea. When told she wasn’t getting the ice tea, the friend put the
woman’s PlayStation 3 and some of her video games on the ground as a
joke. By the time the victim drove back around to retrieve the items, a
passenger in another vehicle had grabbed the game system and three of
the games and had driven away. Police Capt. Rick Pennock said he wasn’t
sure what the intent of the joke was, “but whatever it was, I don’t
think it worked out like it was supposed to.”
Suspicions Confirmed
Police arrested Edward Rodriguez for drug possession after he aroused
suspicion by hiding in a ditch behind a vacant home in Mesa, Ariz. A
neighbor reported the man to police, who approached the man and noticed
he was shirtless and wearing women’s pants with a hole in the crotch
exposing his genitals. The man was also wearing his underwear around his
neck.
Police in Carroll Township, Pa., suspected John Russel Saum Jr., 42,
might be driving under the influence after they observed him driving on a
highway without a wheel on the front of his car. Sparks could be seen
flying from the vehicle’s disk brakes. Saum’s blood-alcohol
concentration was found to be twice Pennsylvania’s legal limit.
Spelling Counts
A French court ordered eBay to pay $316,500 to Louis Vuitton
Malletier and stop using Internet search terms whose spelling closely
resemble “Vuitton.” Louis Vuitton complained that the online auction
site had been buying keywords like “Viton,” “Vitton” and “Wuiton” so
that online shoppers who entered these misspellings into a search engine
would be directed to links promoting eBay. The Paris District Court
found eBay liable for harming the brand name’s reputation.
Chile’s mint fired managing director Gregorio Iniguez after he put
thousands of coins into circulation that misspelled the country’s name.
The 50-peso coins, worth about 10 U.S. cents each, were issued in 2008
with the country’s name spelled “Chiie.” No one noticed the mistake
until late last year.
Self-Service Follies
A 46-year-old man was arrested for drunk driving in South Bend, Ind.,
after other motorists reported their vehicles were struck by a hose
from a gasoline pump dangling from the gas tank of his truck. An
employee at the gas station said the man bought gas with a credit card
but then drove off with the hose still attached to the vehicle.
News and Blues is compiled from the nation’s press. To contribute,
submit original clippings, citing date and source, to Roland Sweet in
care of The New Times.
Correction
The photo of Mountain Goat runners turning the corner and heading
into Thornden Park in the May 5 New Times, should have been
credited to Lewis Cutler.
