Inspired to get slap happy

Spanking relaxed me…

Here’s a thought for all you High and Mighty types with your rules and your judgment: When it comes to slapping anesthetized patients on the buttocks and insulting them before surgery, don’t knock it 'til you’ve tried it.

Chiefs Take Field Against The Odds

We’re lucky to have the Chiefs, especially this time of year. Where else can you buy a beer that gets colder with each sip?

Twitter attacks. Snow and ice cleared from the field by prisoners. Another loss. Our reward for surviving the cruelest of winters has finally arrived. It’s baseball season again in Syracuse.

Welcome to humor in the Digital Age

KRAMER: Welcome to humor in the Digital Age

Welcome to the new Syracuse New Times, and to my little corner of it. Have you ever heard the expression good things come in small packages? It’s particularly true of my column.

From Russia with Love

Herkimer County town’s expansionism would be a Crimea in the making

Pull your head out of your borscht. With Vladimir Putin’s Russia restarting the Cold War, shouldn’t we be paying closer attention to that other Russia, the one closer to home?

Gimme (Tax) Shelter

A possible tax break could add to plenty of comic relief.

One morning late last year I launched into a grumpy, pre-coffee tirade about the Start-Up NY program. I can’t recall precisely what set me off, but the idea of the state extending 10 years of tax-exempt status to qualifying start-up companies had all the earmarks of another scam. As the state’s disgraced experiment with Empire Zones shows, oversight of complex tax-relief programs isn’t one of Albany’s strong suits. The Albany hacktocracy does best when it sets modest goals...such as pleading not guilty in federal court.

Lights! Camera! DeWitt?

Alleged Hollywood producer ankles LA for a Collamer Crossings film hub

If you missed the thrice-weekly’s front-page photo showing Gov. Warbucks seated next to Joanie Mahoney at her State of the County address, it’s worth a look. The camera captures him practically leering at our flaxen-haired county exec, who in turn looks so enraptured by her expertly coiffed consort that you half expect the caption to read, “Every kiss begins with Kay.” (Check it out HERE)

Cauliflower Wing King Crowned

A new standard is established for consumption of cauliflower wings.

Everyone knows I’m a helper, so when a crunchy new restaurant dared to be different by serving--gasp!--cauliflower wings at the downtown Wing Walk, my impulse was to assail critics as close-minded, change-averse, planet-endangering Neanderthals, no offense to Neanderthals intended.

Holding the Swine

New York is a model state for feral pig control.

Here’s something to root for in the dark of winter: New York State has the upper hoof in the war against Marauding Feral Death Pigs.

Political Theater

Some people will react negatively no matter how much rain you save.

Looks like we already have our first show for the Outdoor Amphitheater: “Love Letters” starring County Executive Joanie Mahoney and retired Newhouse School dean David Rubin.

Let Them Eat Cheesecake

Life just got weigh better now that a Cheesecake Factory is in our midst

Here’s a heaping portion of reality: Feb. 11, 2014, was the biggest day in Syracuse history. Period.